"fitting in"

Something that seems to come up on travel discussion forums a lot is how to "fit in" when you're in a particular place. Don't wear jeans, people say, No white sneakers. No socks. No shorts. No this, no that.

Why? I don't quite understand. I mean sure, it is nice to not stick out like a sore thumb. And when people do wear the things I listed above - especially when it's a family all doing it - it's quite easy to pick out Americans - but so what? If a Spaniard or a Belgian were to come visit Houston, would I expect him or her to wear tight jeans, a big belt, a cowboy hat, and boots? OK, I'm exaggerating. But as soon as we open our mouths, they know we're Americans anyway. And that's OK! If we're aware and open-minded and respectful of the local traditions and customs, there's no reason to hate us. In 6 weeks, in 9 major non-English-speaking cities, I faced almost no animosity for being American. In fact in many places people were excited. "Americana!" I got. In one restaurant in Florence, the waiter wanted to know where I was from and he tried to imitate a Boston accent. People don't hate Americans they hate Ugly Americans. But it's so so so easy to not be one!

So, I argue, why does it matter if we, as travelers, fit in? Sure, I liked it when people came up to me and asked me questions in Italian, it was cool. But did it make or break my vacation? Of course not. I didn't take jeans and white sneakers not to avoid sticking out but to be able to pack light, REALLY light (I'll talk about packing light some other time).

So I say, wear what will make you comfortable. These places must be seen on foot. Unlike America, Europe is a culture of walkers. Cities are compact, and sometimes their best treasures are tucked away down and alley or side street. I think a comfortable traveler is a happy traveler, and a happy traveler is more likely to be polite and open to new experiences. Sure, buy some pieces of clothing while you're there or something, but to change who you are just to fit in? I don't understand. I'd think that the Italians or Spaniards would much rather see an American family in denim shorts and white sneakers who tries to speak a little of the language, who is polite and eager and open-minded than some woman in all black with stiletto boots who couldn't be more of a bitch, who wants a watered-down decaf coffee and thinks it's wrong to hang laundry out on one's balcony (Yes, someone actually said that on a messageboard, I can't make that crap up).

If people spent half the time they spend on what to bring and what they'll wear instead on packing light and carefully and the other half learning about the culture to which they're going, there'd be a lot fewer obnoxious tourists lugging around their way-too-big and way-too-heavy suitcases and there'd be a lot more travelers whisking around with their little rolling carry-ons, on their merry way from one place to another, not sticking out no matter what they have on, because they have put in the homework and done the time to make sure they will be comfortable and confident wherever they are going.